There is a “gym” in our building. Really it’s just a tiny, cramped room with a row of about five machines, but the machines work, and it’s free, and as much as I love running around NYC in cold temps and/or in the dark, sometimes it’s just too cold and/or dark. And sometimes it’s prohibitively pouring down rain, like it was a few weekends ago when I — after, like, two full weeks of zero exercise beyond walking — vowed to get back into the swing of running.

Keep in mind that I’d never been on a treadmill before in my life. At my Other Gym™ — Rupert’s Company Gym — I always just go on the elliptical. But there is only one elliptical machine at our Building’s Downstairs Gym™, and it was occupied. So I took to the treadmill, and you know what? Treadmills actually aren’t as scary as they’re made out to be in cartoons & whatnot. I mean, the risk of your actually frantically trying to keep up but sliding off and crashing into the wall behind you and dying is considerably lower than portrayed publicly. I managed to stay on the thing — increasing my speed halfway through, even — for 45 solid minutes. And then I got off and of course stretched as usual, because I was taught how to stretch by Evander Holyfield’s flexibility coach, one Marya Kennett. The endorphins were coursing through my veins — all was physically and mentally well and good, I was oh so satisfied to be back on the road to running recovery! — and then, reader?

I woke up in the morning and couldn’t walk for about five days straight. I mean, literally cringed and/or gasped aloud when I took each and every step. I consulted my Running Guru — Phoned a Furst™, as it were — and he basically told me what I already knew: take it easy for a couple days, walk but don’t run, and then try running again when you feel a little better.

So that’s exactly what I did: I tried running again when I felt a little better. It was last weekend, but the second I hit pavement, my right calf felt like it had a knife stabbing through it, so I walked the rest of the way, and it actually turned out to be a pleasant experience, because there was a boat show going on at the Javits Center. Or at least, the signage said “boat show” but there were also rows and rows of motorcyles everywhere, lining every side street between my apartment building and the West Side Highway. So having to slow down and make my way through — interact with, even — the crowds who attend boat and/or motorcycle shows was very grounding. I was grateful for the peace of mind it brought.

Then finally just the other night I took another stab at the treadmill. One of the other things Furstie had advised was that Treadmills Are Bad™, but honestly, it’s hard to view a thing that will give you a decent 45-minute workout — without having to exit the building, and has you back in the comfort of your own shower within an hour round-trip — as bad.

These past few nights I’ve been done increasingly right by the treadmill, and though I’m still a little wary of what it did to me the first time, the treadmill and I are developing a certain mutual respect, I think. Not to be confused with the mutual respect shared by one Eric Furst and I in the face of third-party damnation (a story to which I’d link directly, were that story still online, but I don’t believe it is).

Anyway, my real reason for posting this is that tonight on the treadmill I listened to Ani DiFranco’s Dilate, which happens to make for excellent treadmilling music. And the reason I’m pointing it out is that one James Jayko is supposed to be helping me figure out the chords of a certain Ani song, in exchange for my “moving on” from listening to Ani all together. I promised him that I would definitely make evey conceivable effort to wean myself off of Ani if he would just help with, like, 30 seconds of this one important song I’m trying to learn, but so far he has done jack squat. So in retaliation, I am now ONLY going to post ABOUT Ani here. Until further notice.

Dilate is an awesome album, both to treadmill to and to listen to in general, and I *heart* it. And James C. Jayko best step up to the plate and help me out if he feels like reading about anything else here ever again.